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Recent Posts
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No you can't "accidentally overdraft"...but you are guaranteed to totally score when she sees that hot, steamy monthly statement with no overdraft fees or excessive transaction charges.
Results tagged “financial services”
Cracker Meet Copper
So the story goes, Doctor Copper invested in metals and never even wasted his time getting his M.D. He just thought it sounded cool to have Doctor in front of his name, because everybody trusts a Doctor. Even a Doctor of Copper with no degree...he has the lab coat.
Does Your Dog Even THINK You Are A Man?
Be the man your dog thinks you are.
That's actually what it says.
So here's an insurance company, selling you insurance by saying something like, if you buy insurance, your dog will think you are more of a man. While you're thinking that one through the dog is just like, "Throw the friggin ball already, dude."
If You're Never Impressed, Then...You're Never Impressed
If she's never impressed, then how can she be impressed? She can't be impressed because she's never impressed. What kinda fool does she think we are??
The Website Is Like Paper Which Is Like a Leaf Which is Like a Sticker
This little "green" notice may have gone unnoticed. Were it not for the curator of the Museum, who deconstructs it for us. Think about it for a moment.
Save paper...be green...like a leaf...which you are not...but it signifies that...sort of.
Save paper...be green...like a leaf...which you are not...but it signifies that...sort of.
She Loves Him, She Debits Him Not...
No you can't "accidentally overdraft"...but you are guaranteed to totally score when she sees that hot, steamy monthly statement with no overdraft fees or excessive transaction charges.
They Stood Within Us!
From a website of a financial services company that will remain nameless, comes generic copy and generic stock photo nonsense. Another one of those phrases that, given some thought, make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
"They did more than stand behind us. They stood beside us."
Oh really? Why would you even want them behind you? Shoving you out front, taking the bullets while they stand behind you? And what's the big deal of them standing beside you? You're still ... you...so what if you have "them?" That's not gonna save you. I guarantee, the minute you try to tell everybody, 'Look, they're standing beside me' they'll be gone in a flash and you'll be pointing to thin air.
"They did more than stand behind us. They stood beside us."
Oh really? Why would you even want them behind you? Shoving you out front, taking the bullets while they stand behind you? And what's the big deal of them standing beside you? You're still ... you...so what if you have "them?" That's not gonna save you. I guarantee, the minute you try to tell everybody, 'Look, they're standing beside me' they'll be gone in a flash and you'll be pointing to thin air.
We're Not Making Money At You, We're Making Money WITH You
I'm wondering if there's a "Prepositional Attorney" who has to review this kind of language. "Well, you can say 'with' and you can say 'from' but if you say 'off' you that's tricky. Can you say, 'We make money. And you make money... too, except we make more than you because we're a profit-making venture and you're just a customer. We make money ON you. In fact, we're banking on you to give us more of your money. Because we're a bank. Ally Bank.' Yeah...that's it!
What's The Name of this Bank Again?
For those following along, I posted a flyer found at my just-imploded bank, Washington Mutual, right in the thick of the financial debacle. Chase bought WaMu and the flyer announced:
"We love Chase. And not just because they have a trillion dollars." (original post is here:)
The above "we" is now "unemployed" as the old Chase decimated and crushed WaMu to a fine powder. Now Chase announces the new WaMu, er uh, Chase. The Old Chase. So...LET'S CELEBRATE!!! <HURL!>
"We love Chase. And not just because they have a trillion dollars." (original post is here:)
The above "we" is now "unemployed" as the old Chase decimated and crushed WaMu to a fine powder. Now Chase announces the new WaMu, er uh, Chase. The Old Chase. So...LET'S CELEBRATE!!! <HURL!>
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