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Recent Posts
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I can sort of follow the marketing chain of absurdity here. Trix, a vaguely fruity breakfast cereal, has a mascot rabbit crazy about the product. "Extending the brand" brought us the wonder of Trix Yogurt: kids could actually like yogurt because it has so much sugar, color, flavoring and no connection to anything healthy that might make them run the other way.
Why the Trix Rabbit is holding up a colored yogurt cup eyeglasses, one of which has a symbolic yin-yang swirl on it, is just beyond any comprehension. I guess it makes people look at the package. But what is the Trix Rabbit actually seeing that makes him so damn happy?
Results tagged “packaging”
Fully Authentic Fakeness
From Madness Museum Fan, Doug Wiley Comedian (i think his last name is really "Wiley" though), comes this fine example of oxymoronic copy headlines.
There is a whole discussion of this on Facebook where Doug first posted this. The gist of the the discussion (minus biblical references) is that bacon is sold raw, like sushi. People don't eat bacon raw like sushi or they get trichinosis or tapeworms or something.
So they cook it. Themselves. Traditionally.
With A Name Like Cracker...
So the story goes, James T. Kracker finally got his M.D., opened a practice and nobody patients would see him because of his name, Doctor Kracker, just scared a lot of people off. So he did the next best thing. Started a cracker company.
Do You Dream Of George Clooney As A Chocolate Chef?
Two things irritating me about this one.
1. I have a feeling in the Lindt chocolate factory, they have no time for some clown with a whisk and a copper pot; we're talking industrial vats of chocolate
2. And that question, "Do you dream in chocolate?" So what if I do? It might be nightmares.
Please see this Madness Museum entry for an all-too-similar approach to chocoholism.
Wake Up And Go Back To Sleep!
Here's your entire day in a nutshell, or in bottles.
And wrap it all up with a splash of coconut water because, well, because it was next to the other stuff and it was on sale and you bought it.
When Mister Steamy and Missus Steamy Get Together...
You would think, steam being "mist" if you're going for that "Mister <feature/benefit>" method, this would be a perfect match for a Mister Mister ...
but alas, the '80s pop band Mr. Mister had that one taken already.
We Don't Have An Obesity Problem In America; We Have A Royalty Problem
We could call her, uh, but nah...let's call her, Royal.
You're LOST Without The Salad Guide
Who ya gonna buy salad from? Somebody who just throws it in a bag and calls it "romaine" or somebody who throws it in a bag, calls it "romaine" and gives you the definitive guide to salad by criteria of taste and texture.
I rest my case.
I rest my case.
How Many Words End In "-gasm?"
One word, everybody knows, ends in "-gasm" and that's "orgasm." Any other made up word just fails. Witness:
Harry Potter's Holistic Health Potion
If you're selling some wacko 'mushroom medicine' at a health food store, who needs the doctor-clown in a lab coat? So the people from "Fungi Perfect" go to an earthy Druid-esque scene with an eerie glow from the woods and a font leftover from "Twilight" poster.
Kids, Cereal and All Those Crazy Electronics...
Corn Pops went off the deep end on the back of the box: an endless, ADD-infested, kids-love-the-computers-and-the-gadgets-and-the-texting-and we don't know when to shut up concept.
First the box:
Let's look more closely...
First the box:
Let's look more closely...
I Dream of Wheaties
How sad does your life have to be to get excited about "Gluten-Free Dreams?"
Cheese Chest
What better way to appeal to the little kiddies then come up with a playful animated character?!
So this lil' guy has the white gloves and three-fingers-and-a-thumb of standard issue cartoon characters...googly eyes, rubbery arms...lots of fun to be had with this fella, no doubt.
But what he's really saying is:
"HEY KIDS!! THIS CHEESE STUFF IS SO GOOD I WANT TO SMEAR IT ALL OVER MY CHEST!!!"
Get Smart. Drink Brain Juice!
Aw c'mon! It's APPLE JUICE!! I suppose if I inject this into my cranium directly, I'll become a genius. Or die.......
Just between you and me...I chop up Multigrain Cheerios and snort them
Backs of cereal boxes: hot spot for marketing madness. This triggers a "copy for copy's sake" instance that forces the inconsequential: "Just between you and me."
What sort of secret is this Anne Hathaway-like model sharing with us? She's not fooling us with crap about 'jumpstarting her metabolism to fire up her busy day.' Let's face it...she's weak...SHE LIKES THE SUGAR!!!
What sort of secret is this Anne Hathaway-like model sharing with us? She's not fooling us with crap about 'jumpstarting her metabolism to fire up her busy day.' Let's face it...she's weak...SHE LIKES THE SUGAR!!!
Marketing Madness knows no religious boundaries
Another fun cartoon-y character to get the kids interested in the product. Same eyes, white glove hand, upbeat, happy faced fella. Gotta hand it to the designer, who had some fun with the Jewish star motif and managed to make it look like the guy has something of a beard. Could this be the first Cartoon Kosher Product Mascot?
They seem to have the right idea here and even used a top hat so as not to look like every Chasidic man in the world.
There's just one thing: where have I seen yellow Jewish stars before......??
Cherry Coke - Nuclear Winter Edition
Coca Cola spends more on advertising and marketing than the combined economies of the U.K., France and Lithuania. They should be able to crank out some pretty high-end graphics and labels, right? Well, this Cherry Coke label must've been really cheap.
You've got some cherries, okay and some sort of vague sky / skyline motif. But what the hell city is this? This looks like an abandoned industrial park after nuclear holocaust, complete with an unnatural purple sky...and while we're at it...giant cherries falling from above.
Lastly, an odd design on one building has a weird inkblot feeling...am I seeing a scarab? Was this in the Rohrschach tests? Is that a mandrill??
You've got some cherries, okay and some sort of vague sky / skyline motif. But what the hell city is this? This looks like an abandoned industrial park after nuclear holocaust, complete with an unnatural purple sky...and while we're at it...giant cherries falling from above.
Lastly, an odd design on one building has a weird inkblot feeling...am I seeing a scarab? Was this in the Rohrschach tests? Is that a mandrill??
Adult Pretzels
There really is nothing "adult" about these pretzels. In fact, I'm feeling mighty immature making fun of this. But I mean, c'mon! Nutzels and Rods??? Remind me to use this one when I present The Museum of Marketing Madness to high school boys.
Why Don't They Call It "TRIPS Yogurt?"
I can sort of follow the marketing chain of absurdity here. Trix, a vaguely fruity breakfast cereal, has a mascot rabbit crazy about the product. "Extending the brand" brought us the wonder of Trix Yogurt: kids could actually like yogurt because it has so much sugar, color, flavoring and no connection to anything healthy that might make them run the other way.
Why the Trix Rabbit is holding up a colored yogurt cup eyeglasses, one of which has a symbolic yin-yang swirl on it, is just beyond any comprehension. I guess it makes people look at the package. But what is the Trix Rabbit actually seeing that makes him so damn happy?
When You're A Pro, You Need Special Equipment
So Farberware comes out with a line of "Professional" equipment for serious cooks. Okay, but are professional cooks really messing with cans of tuna? C'mon.
But What IS This OTHER Juice
So Manufacturing says, "We can't guarantee we'll have that one kind of juice to mix with the White Cranberry Strawberry to reduce the tartness" Legal was called in and they said, "You have to say something about the juice that's in there." So Marketing said, "Well why don't we just say 'some other juice.' And that's how the "Another Juice" made it right on the front of the package.
