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Recent Posts
1
The crude Font-By-Sharpie is not the problem here. It's the guy with the drawing of a six-pack on his abdomen. 
You can't tell what the hell this is.
I don't care about the lower photo of perfact abs, I don't care about the product they're selling.
I'm trying to figure out ... did this guy get a tattoo of a six-pack? Is it drawn on? Or is it some birthmark?
Results tagged “stock photos”
Nothing Succeeds Like...A Kid In A Suit On A Runway Wearing Wings
I rest my case.
What Exactly IS Productive About This Workforce?
Four women sitting around a computer looking at pictures of Brad Pitt's abs is NOT productive. And what exactly did the photographer say to make these women get so excited?
Now Look Straight Ahead...I Mean YOU Lady!
Why is this stock photo creepy?
a. She's the only one smiling and looking at the camera.
b. She's the only one in focus.
c. She's got an eyebrow raised that says, "Hey, I'm the only one smiling, in focus and looking at the camera."
d. This image has nothing to do with anything on this page.
Can I Just Get A Simple Error Message Please?
It's like asking for directions and someone says, "I can't give you directions, but can I blow you a kiss and give you this flower!"
When did a 404 page become a chance for nerds to flirt with me?
This American Headache Society Gives Me a Headache
They may not have a headache, but these people are sick with something.
This is on the patient area of the ACHE (American Headache Society Committee for Headaches Education). Even the way they worked that acronym into the word "ache" is painful.
Small Business People Cook Brains
This guy, an apparent representative small business person cook chef kinda hip fella, is photographed not with a recognizable foodstuff. No, too representative to show him with a cake or a salad. Why not a brown mass that could be an encephalitic brain? Yes sir...works for me!
I'm So Happy This Bank Makes People Happy
Will ya' look at all these gigantic photos of smiling people!!?
Look at how HUGE and HAPPY these people are!! You got Dreadlocks Mulatto Happy...Swedish Blonde With Bangs Happy...Older But Casual Enough To Wear T-Shirt With Blazer Happy...Confident Vaguely Middle East/South East Asian/Possibly Latino Happy...Aloha-wear Tan and Grey Mustache Happy...and let's throw in Asian Kid Happy!!!
I MUST BANK HERE AND BECOME HAPPY!!!!
Look at how HUGE and HAPPY these people are!! You got Dreadlocks Mulatto Happy...Swedish Blonde With Bangs Happy...Older But Casual Enough To Wear T-Shirt With Blazer Happy...Confident Vaguely Middle East/South East Asian/Possibly Latino Happy...Aloha-wear Tan and Grey Mustache Happy...and let's throw in Asian Kid Happy!!!
I MUST BANK HERE AND BECOME HAPPY!!!!
Sanitize the Pizza in Your New Office!
- I have 3 questions about the juxtaposition of this hand sanitizer/ad poster display in a pizza joint:
- Why would I want to sanitize my hands before, during or after eating pizza?
- Does the office space they're advertising include washrooms, or do they just have hand sanitizers in the hallways?
- Why is Barack Obama's cousin, Otto Obama, making a phone call?
Choice Is Being Able To Eat Fruit That Doesn't Exist
Sometimes creative cooks up a concept, foists it upon the brand and copywriters wind up building a bridge to nowhere.
3 images, 3 statements...all united by the color blue. But the third image didn't really have any blue. So what!? It's a blue apple!
Yes, that's a blue apple.
3 images, 3 statements...all united by the color blue. But the third image didn't really have any blue. So what!? It's a blue apple!
Yes, that's a blue apple.
Are You Cool Enough To Work With Us?
Here we are on the website of coolest agency east of the Mississippi. How do we
know they're cool? Just look at this stock photo practically frosted
with coolness!! You got buttoned-down blonde in the background, ready
to ice you with her stare. You got black-belt-in-coolness-geek also
in background on fire with coolness. And up front, reprezentin
jacket-and-tie coolness, you have George Clooney's little brother
Cliffy Clooney, all swivel-chair-head-of-the-conference-table cool. I wanna work there. I have to work there!
Look how tiny my stumpy legs are!!
Why are these high angle shots so cool? Because it makes even people with club feet, or whatever sort of pod his woman is standing on, look totally hip. She's so damn cool, it makes me weak in the stump.
We're taking care of you. In fact, THIS guy is taking care of you. Really!
From our friends at HP, came this status page for an order I had placed. An order placed to get a refurbished printer at a discount because my other refurbished printer broke out of warranty. (That other printer was replacing the first one which broke out of warranty...and so on.) But who's bitching?? There is one simple message on this page: my order is "on order."
AND as an added bonus, here's a picture of a guy smiling.
AND as an added bonus, here's a picture of a guy smiling.
Why do we need a picture of this guy? Who is he? He's got a little golf shirt on, seems to be in front of, I'm imagining some place like Home Depot or a big warehouse. He's not doing anything, of course. He had to stop in his busy day so some photographer could take pictures of him. Okay, now go back to shipping orders out and stop smiling.
They Stood Within Us!
From a website of a financial services company that will remain nameless, comes generic copy and generic stock photo nonsense. Another one of those phrases that, given some thought, make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
"They did more than stand behind us. They stood beside us."
Oh really? Why would you even want them behind you? Shoving you out front, taking the bullets while they stand behind you? And what's the big deal of them standing beside you? You're still ... you...so what if you have "them?" That's not gonna save you. I guarantee, the minute you try to tell everybody, 'Look, they're standing beside me' they'll be gone in a flash and you'll be pointing to thin air.
"They did more than stand behind us. They stood beside us."
Oh really? Why would you even want them behind you? Shoving you out front, taking the bullets while they stand behind you? And what's the big deal of them standing beside you? You're still ... you...so what if you have "them?" That's not gonna save you. I guarantee, the minute you try to tell everybody, 'Look, they're standing beside me' they'll be gone in a flash and you'll be pointing to thin air.
Get Down Off The Ladder and Tell Me Where You Want Your Number!
Another example of the Extreme Height, Wide Angle School of Stock Photos. This one is so extreme that it looks like her body consists of a huge torso with deformed stumps as some kind of pedestal. She's otherwise kinda attractive, but I feel sorry for her.
Images Courtesy of Goth Stock Photo Dungeon
For the geek dating site www.gk2gk.com, they had to feature some form of hottie up there. So the pale skin, red lips, no smile, pitch black hair Goth Chick gets top billing. Don't smile honey. Remember, this is an online dating service for total dweebs who are going to obsessively Twitter about you instead of stalking. Feel the love.
Posted via email from Lee's posterous
It's A Door Decoration!!
We're kinda' into a meta-marketing thing here as this door decoration is sorta' advertising to the world, "It's A Girl!." But we really need to keep our focus on the manufacturer who is selling this excrement. So what do they put on the package to make it irresistible?
A couple of found-them-walking-around 'models' featuring a guy with the most stilted "Aww...look at her!" expression I've seen since "Rosemary's Baby." Then again, he is obviously looking at a pile of towels, so maybe he couldn't get into character.
A couple of found-them-walking-around 'models' featuring a guy with the most stilted "Aww...look at her!" expression I've seen since "Rosemary's Baby." Then again, he is obviously looking at a pile of towels, so maybe he couldn't get into character.
It's Easy To Get a Credit Card If You've Been Practicing Yoga for 30 Years
What the hell are they saying here?! You know they came up with the headline and said, "We need something that says 'easy.' How do you show easy?" Well, why not show someone in the impossible yoga pose, "Inverted Crane At Laptop."
Imagine The Possibility of Being Suspended From a Harness
Another for The EHWAHEC (Extreme Height, Wide-Angle, Hip Eyeglass Creative) Wing of our Museum.
Is this for a trapeze job with the circus or a Java developer?
Tip #124: When Using Funny Pics, Make Sure People Know What's Funny
The crude Font-By-Sharpie is not the problem here. It's the guy with the drawing of a six-pack on his abdomen. You can't tell what the hell this is. I don't care about the lower photo of perfact abs, I don't care about the product they're selling.
I'm trying to figure out ... did this guy get a tattoo of a six-pack? Is it drawn on? Or is it some birthmark?
First impression: he's a cyborg and he's showing us his cesium-powered internal retrograde chronometer frezembeeker.
Are You Creative? Do You Look Good From A High Angle?
The wide-angle, extreme height stock photo of people representing creative funky artiste types. Why does this connote creativity? Most of the creative people I know prefer to see the world eye-to-eye. Could they be connoting that creatives are being looked down upon?
There are countless variations of this and I'll be posting more in a special wing of the museum. The Extreme Height Wide Angle Hip Eyeglasses Creative Wing or EHWAHEC (Ee-wah-Hec) Wing.
There are countless variations of this and I'll be posting more in a special wing of the museum. The Extreme Height Wide Angle Hip Eyeglasses Creative Wing or EHWAHEC (Ee-wah-Hec) Wing.