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Results tagged “supermarkets”
Cake, Icing, Food Coloring...Yeah, Real Magical
In a supermarket, to promote the broad range of 'theme' cakes they can whip up, is a catalog, presented on a stand like a dictionary in the library. The Big Message is: The Magic of Cakes. Is it me, or is this just depressing?
It could've just said something witty like: "Have your cake...and eat it too." But magic?! Last time I saw someone pass off something like this as magic, it was a magician at a kids party who showed up wasted and pulled a bong out of a hat.
It could've just said something witty like: "Have your cake...and eat it too." But magic?! Last time I saw someone pass off something like this as magic, it was a magician at a kids party who showed up wasted and pulled a bong out of a hat.
Help Us Save Trees. Don't Buy This.
Green marketing and advertising, like all marketing and advertising, tries to convince you of the impossible. In this case, the company that cuts down trees and uses paper is really saving trees. Here we have Marcal toilet tissue, with the banner "New Name, New Look, Improved Product" so you know it has to be a lie.
Let us deconstruct.
You've got the product name in all lower-case, "small steps" so it seems harmless and cute with a little arrow in the p making you feel like you're practically turning back the clock to a smaller steppier kind of time:
Let us deconstruct.
You've got the product name in all lower-case, "small steps" so it seems harmless and cute with a little arrow in the p making you feel like you're practically turning back the clock to a smaller steppier kind of time:
You've got this "Help Us Save 1 Million Trees" declaration smack in the middle, almost seeming like this is a campaign you can sign up for (there is no campaign, btw)
And again with the saving the trees crap, except, tell me: If they've been in the business of making paper since 1950, how can they be saving trees? Isn't paper, uh, made from trees? Don't they have to cut them down in order to make the paper??
And again with the saving the trees crap, except, tell me: If they've been in the business of making paper since 1950, how can they be saving trees? Isn't paper, uh, made from trees? Don't they have to cut them down in order to make the paper??
Discover Exotic Cultures and Eat Them
This from my friend Josh, who spotted Marketing Madness in the sushi display. Obviously taken in some big box warehouse joint called Wegmans where the ceiling is just raw pipes and fork lifts roam the aisles.
Discover the Orient with Sushi??! Is that really discovering the Orient, eating raw fish? Can't I just go on the web and look at pictures of Japan instead of eating their crazy food? Why are you scaring me with this stuff??
Discover the Orient with Sushi??! Is that really discovering the Orient, eating raw fish? Can't I just go on the web and look at pictures of Japan instead of eating their crazy food? Why are you scaring me with this stuff??
"Ya Want Handcuffs with That??"
In a more innocent time, one of the simple pleasures of childhood was "cookies and milk."
Well times sure have changed. Here in the cookie aisle is a sign of the times. The milk is gone and it's "cookies and handcuffs." So sad. So very sad.
Well times sure have changed. Here in the cookie aisle is a sign of the times. The milk is gone and it's "cookies and handcuffs." So sad. So very sad.
Merry Chris-make-a-lotta-money...s
As noted before, the holidays are a time for joy, giving and desperate, hollow advertising. Which brings us to the A&P store plastered with signs about a "Holisaleabration." Doesn't that word sound a little like "halitosis."
Please note the similarities to another A&P word-jumble campaign I mentioned from September of 2009:
Redtacular Spectacular Count Dracula
Please note the similarities to another A&P word-jumble campaign I mentioned from September of 2009:
Redtacular Spectacular Count Dracula
The Blue Screen of Lunch
Another in my series of public error messages. Here in the window of a seasonally decorated gourmet shop one monitor seems to be behaving well, while another one went (sorry for the pun) 'out to lunch' in a blue screen of death. I wonder if there was a bug in the food it was displaying. (pun intended)
All Right. Who Took The Jingle?!!
As noted before, marketing around the holidays is the perfect time to mangle a metaphor and create cockamamie copy. Take "Jingle Bells." Let's trace the metaphor back to its source:
So the copywriter's dialogue might have gone a little like this:
"Jingle....what else can we do with Jingle? Jingle all the way, Jingle this. Jingle that. Hey! What if the jingle was taken OUT of the holidays?! What if someone could put the jingle BACK in the holidays?!?! But who took the jingle!?! I don't know! But we can say, we put it back! YEAH!!!"
- Christmas holiday represents birth of Christ, origins of Christianity
- Holiday traditions include gift-giving, parties and songs
- One of the popular songs, carols, includes "Jingle Bells"
- The noun "jingle" and the verb "to jingle" have become associated with the holidays
So the copywriter's dialogue might have gone a little like this:
"Jingle....what else can we do with Jingle? Jingle all the way, Jingle this. Jingle that. Hey! What if the jingle was taken OUT of the holidays?! What if someone could put the jingle BACK in the holidays?!?! But who took the jingle!?! I don't know! But we can say, we put it back! YEAH!!!"
Give A Card...It's Cheap and Made of Paper
The fact that they slotted this little callout in the middle of the display really emphasizes how feeble the whole give-a-card sentiment is. Almost calls attention to the fact that it's the cheapest little stupid ass thing you can do because you have no life and no friends.
I mean, it doesn't say that. But the thought is there.
I mean, it doesn't say that. But the thought is there.
I'm Sorry This Balloon Is An Impulse Purchase
Stuff at the supermarket checkout counter are last-minute items: a pack of gum, tabloids about celeb cellulite and a...MYLAR BALLOON THAT SAYS YOU'RE SORRY??!
The rest of the balloons on these checkout lines are of the "Happy
This" "Happy That" variety. Somehow, a message on floating,
helium-inflated shiny material that says "I'm Sorry" just seems sad.
Maybe I'm reading into this too much. Maybe...but I am not sorry.
The rest of the balloons on these checkout lines are of the "Happy
This" "Happy That" variety. Somehow, a message on floating,
helium-inflated shiny material that says "I'm Sorry" just seems sad.
Maybe I'm reading into this too much. Maybe...but I am not sorry. Help! I'm Stuck in a Shopping Cart and I Have To Pee!!
See if you can find 5 annoying things about this ad?
1. The reference to "garbanzo beans" and "bladder" totally misses the joke. If you're using "beans" and you're referring to the bathroom, you gotta' go with flatulence.
2. There's no explicit mention of the drug but there's a teensy tiny Pfizer logo in the upper right hand corner. What are you hiding Mr. Pfizer?
3. It slaps yet another label on yet another thing wrong with us that only drugs can cure: overactive bladder...when was this an issue?
4. It's making that old-school assumption that women shop in supermarkets, not men.
5. It's in a shopping cart for Pete's sake! Is this speaking to the groceries or the cart driver?
1. The reference to "garbanzo beans" and "bladder" totally misses the joke. If you're using "beans" and you're referring to the bathroom, you gotta' go with flatulence.
2. There's no explicit mention of the drug but there's a teensy tiny Pfizer logo in the upper right hand corner. What are you hiding Mr. Pfizer?
3. It slaps yet another label on yet another thing wrong with us that only drugs can cure: overactive bladder...when was this an issue?
4. It's making that old-school assumption that women shop in supermarkets, not men.
5. It's in a shopping cart for Pete's sake! Is this speaking to the groceries or the cart driver?
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