Author: lrsachs

Inside This Tiny Mobile Banner Is A Story…

… except nobody knows WTF the story is about.

fall out of the roller coaster and be caught by the guy in the

 

 

I think the story is:
Don’t worry about falling out of the roller coaster that is the stock market because the guy much smaller than you in the cherry picker you will try to catch you.
And he has a hard hat on and a yellow vest so that will help when he tries to catch you.
I think.

Will The Stock Photographer On LSD Please Stop Shooting

Brain Gumball What The Fucking Fuck

No I mean it. In the nicest way, stop.

This raises a LOT of questions, including:

  1. What makes you think this connotes learning or intelligence.
  2. Where did you find small colored brains to fit into a gumball machine?
  3. Do you realize you are reducing brain power and knowledge to the simplicity of putting a quarter in a slot and turning a crank??
  4. After I put the coin in and turn the crank does this mean I can then use that brain or has it been severed from its original host and is now just a mass of neurons and with no awareness or functional capability??

I guess I should mention this was taken from my day job’s company’s website for internal training. That is why a lotta stuff is redacted. But you can see who is responsible for this mess. Yeah, those people!

When Your World Is Reduced To A Glass Ball

Marketing Madness sometimes happens when an agency has a copy concept or a visual idea but they just don’t have both at the same time.

What to  do?

The World Is A Globe Of CBD

You just mash ’em together and h0pe for the best!

What the hell?! The person reading this is a fucking wreck, needs something to calm down and isn’t gonna care whether the visuals match the copy or vice versa.

So what if it’s a sunny day at the beach and you have a hand model with some funky jewelry holding a globe?? Make the words “upside down” upside down!

Like A Little Kid With A Magnifying Glass Burning Ants

But is she gonna get seared where the globe has focused the sun?

Sometimes Marketing Madness Gets Papered Over By Social Distancing

They could have made a sign big enough to cover up the elevator ad in this hotel promoting their meeting spaces.

Elevator Bank 1 Elevator Bank 2 Elevator Bank 3

But, ahh, it’s a Global Pandemic! Just don’t kill each other okay?? We can meet in a conference room later.

And if you read the signs carefully through elevator banks 1, 2 and 3 you can see that they are talking about “Meeting in style in the heart of the Main Line.” Oh yeah that…

SHHH!! They’ll Never Know We’re Not Whole Foods!

I wonder if the owner of this bodega on the Lower East Side was like:

“What the hell? If we get just a few more customers wandering in because they think we’re Whole Foods, it’ll be worth getting the name.”

Whole Sorta Like Foods Almost

And, that children, is how The Wholesome Foods Bodega got its name! Okay, everybody night night!!

Red Junior And His Bottle Gang

Found this “Pocket Pub” flask hanging on the shelf in the beverage aisle. Some funny stuff going on here:

Pocket Liquor License

I guess that ol’ hip flask model is just not cool anymore  old school how we do

Just because you fill this with 8oz of booze doesn’t mean you’re carrying around an entire PUB in your POCKET

My favorite: the lil’ gang of miscreants tucked in the upper right-hand corner.

Stock photo agency wouldn’t permit their faces to promote drunk and disorderly behavior.

The silhouettes make ’em look shady though.