This is sort of a recursive version of that sign near a development off the highway that says, “If you lived here you’d be home by now.”
Category: copywriting
There Is Copy. Then There Is Black Friday Copy
This is just lazy copy.
“There are deals. Then there is FREE.”
No it’s not “free,” it’s a 14-day trial. Oh sorry.
Deal. Shmeal. Copy. Sloppy. Fucky Sucky.
When All Else Fails With Copy, Just Say “AAAH”
or worse
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Is anyone even paying attention?
NAAAAAHHHH!!!
Just Shut Up You Stupid Salad
The salad doesn’t need a spokesperson. The salad doesn’t even need to speak.
This is copy for copy’s sake. Ya can’t just put a picture of a salad out there and say, “Look at this nice salad.”
Where’s the attitude? Where’s the word play? Where’s the sizzle?
(Actually, there shouldn’t be ‘sizzle’ because this is salad and nobody wants their salad sizzling.)
One picture is worth a thousand calories. One salad is worth … well, whatever they charge for all the toppings, plus tax … and you’ll need a drink so it’s probably about 13 bucks.
Ya need some words that say something, that speak for the salad. So, really, by virtue of the sign and the copy, you’re speaking for the salad, asshole! The salad DOES need a spokesperson! You’re contradicting yourself, Copywriter!!
But can we blame the copywriter? She probably was so sick and tired of coming up with stuff to say about salad she figured she’d do the old switcheroo on us and let the salad do the talking. And, the poor copywriter works for a company called … JUST SALAD!
So really, this is a cry for help from the copywriter. This is basically the copywriter pleading with the world …
DON’T MAKE ME WRITE MORE COPY ABOUT SALAD!! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!
And then she reasoned:
I know what to do!!
I will put words in the salad’s mouth.
And you will put the salad on your mouth.
Maybe that was the first draft of this ad. But then the Creative Director looked at it and said,
What the fuck are you talking about? Have you lost your fucking mind?! Now go back and write some proper copy!
But she couldn’t let go of the talking salad idea. And needed to play it out. And that’s how we wound up with this dreck. By the way, the salad sign is on a thing we call a sandwich board. (more fucked up nonsense).
Oh and what’s with their logo? Why does it look like some kind of diaper or something?
Diaper salad.
Drugs Pictures Drinking Pretty
I like my version better but I guess they had to go with alliteration on this one.
This could also be rearranged to say:
” Drinking Drugging Looking Pretty”
Ocean Bound Windex
I am misreading it but this seems to be just screaming at me:
“THIS BOTTLE IS HEADED STRAIGHT TO THE GREAT PACIFIC TRASH GYRE!! DON’T YOU WORRY!!!”
The copy on this label has a just a little too much emphasis on the words “Ocean Bound Plastic” which kinda overwhelms the lil’ “bottle made of”
I See Dead Potatoes
When I see a potato, I don’t see possibilities.
I see a potato.
I
Extra Copy Means Extra Madness
That “Expect The Stretch” is what I call “Stretch copy” (yeah I just made that up)
Creative Director doesn’t like the blank space and wants something else there, even if it adds no value or make any sense whatsoever. And the poor copywriter has to come up with some word play, some double entendre … ANYthing to fill that space.
And, Children, that is how Expect The Stretch wound up on the box for the Super Stretch Spider Web Halloween Packaging. Good night! Drive safely!
Don’t Strain Yourself Copywriters!
Apple’s advertising used to be a little more sophisticated but this is just feeble.
“Dude … our stuff is SOOO cool we show a picture of the BACK of it and people friggin buy!”
Watermelon Color Bumble Bee Halloween Candy Shampoo Yogurt Rice Starch
Much to critique and demolish here … join me!
#1
I get that the message here is WATERMELON RED fruity healthy upbeat happy. But that shampoo bottle looks a little too much like a yogurt drink, right?
#2
And while they’re throwing COLORS did anyone stop to think what color represents “Yes” and which “No.” Red/Green = Stop/Go, right? Yes, no? Not really, sorta.
Rice Starch: “Yes AND Green!”
Silicones:”No AND Green!”
Plumping: “Yes AND Red!”
What is Plumping: “Yes!!
Columns to organize information: WTF?! No but YES!!!
#3
And finally. how did Halloween colors and costumes get mixed up in here? And why is Drew Barrymore wearing a bumble bee costume? Is it Fall already?! Summer’s over???
