The Museum Of Marketing Madness
Curating, skewering and roasting the worst of advertising to comic perfection
Got this mailer for one of those financial advisors offering a webinar to help with retirement. I ask you: Why would I give my money to a guy who has gaping rectangular holes in his head!? WHY!?!?
Yes, yes we know it’s supposed to be the Nasdaq building in Times Square.
But it is also your face on a building with GAPING RECTANGULAR HOLES IN YOUR HEAD!!
Much to critique and demolish here … join me!
I get that the message here is WATERMELON RED fruity healthy upbeat happy. But that shampoo bottle looks a little too much like a yogurt drink, right?
And while they’re throwing COLORS did anyone stop to think what color represents “Yes” and which “No.” Red/Green = Stop/Go, right? Yes, no? Not really, sorta.
Rice Starch: “Yes AND Green!”
Silicones:”No AND Green!”
Plumping: “Yes AND Red!”
What is Plumping: “Yes!!
Columns to organize information: WTF?! No but YES!!!
And finally. how did Halloween colors and costumes get mixed up in here? And why is Drew Barrymore wearing a bumble bee costume? Is it Fall already?! Summer’s over???
From 2 competing direct-mail pieces doing the same damned thing arriving on the same damned day:
Okay, so Mosquito Hunter has a nice sorta Nigel Thornberry (Of the Wild Thornberry’s cartoon) vibe.
But, really, he’s kinda holding the mosquito like a pet.
Then again, he’s about to crush the bastard.
Why does the Mosquito have a sorta Dracula-ish helmet haircut thing goin?
Squad Guy is a little hipper and a more contemporary feel. 
But then … are those … Man Boobs?
Prominent in the Squad piece is … dead bugs. Kinda dark huh?
Whereas the Hunter has a more positive, ethnically-diverse, animal-friendly feeling happening.
You know what though? They are both White Men carrying weapons. The whole thing is a disgrace and I don’t want to have anything to do with them.
Let the Mosquitos take over!
Here’s a brilliant idea! Sell people something they don’t need to buy and then remind them, they could be spending more on the thing they never needed to buy.
That’s right. Save money on money that is cheaper than the money you would normally buy when you buy money from the place that sells you money.
That is SO money!!