It’s like a carnival-in-a-bag.
Category: food
Can’t Build Me I’m The Gingerbread House (in a box)!
Skip the mixing, the rolling pin, the cookie cutter, the oven and the baking and just open the box and EAT the damned crap!
Yes, nothing goes better with the spicy, sweet flavor of gingerbread than a candy that is so sour it makes you gag and pucker!!
This sour patch kid looks pissed off because he’s been stuck to the side of a house.
Includes Oreo cookies!?! I had NO idea!!!
Please, Just Make An Effort To Market
I’m surprised they even bothered to cut the cardboard in that sorta exploding border thing. Otherwise, this is just sad.
Then again, this is just by the freight elevator (on the right), not a heavily trafficked part of the store.
Please Don’t Confuse Me With Your Foreign Languages And Foods
Since we know that spelling always troubled English-speaking Americans
Just Shut Up You Stupid Salad
The salad doesn’t need a spokesperson. The salad doesn’t even need to speak.
This is copy for copy’s sake. Ya can’t just put a picture of a salad out there and say, “Look at this nice salad.”
Where’s the attitude? Where’s the word play? Where’s the sizzle?
(Actually, there shouldn’t be ‘sizzle’ because this is salad and nobody wants their salad sizzling.)
One picture is worth a thousand calories. One salad is worth … well, whatever they charge for all the toppings, plus tax … and you’ll need a drink so it’s probably about 13 bucks.
Ya need some words that say something, that speak for the salad. So, really, by virtue of the sign and the copy, you’re speaking for the salad, asshole! The salad DOES need a spokesperson! You’re contradicting yourself, Copywriter!!
But can we blame the copywriter? She probably was so sick and tired of coming up with stuff to say about salad she figured she’d do the old switcheroo on us and let the salad do the talking. And, the poor copywriter works for a company called … JUST SALAD!
So really, this is a cry for help from the copywriter. This is basically the copywriter pleading with the world …
DON’T MAKE ME WRITE MORE COPY ABOUT SALAD!! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!
And then she reasoned:
I know what to do!!
I will put words in the salad’s mouth.
And you will put the salad on your mouth.
Maybe that was the first draft of this ad. But then the Creative Director looked at it and said,
What the fuck are you talking about? Have you lost your fucking mind?! Now go back and write some proper copy!
But she couldn’t let go of the talking salad idea. And needed to play it out. And that’s how we wound up with this dreck. By the way, the salad sign is on a thing we call a sandwich board. (more fucked up nonsense).
Oh and what’s with their logo? Why does it look like some kind of diaper or something?
Diaper salad.
Tap, Shop, Use Sushi As Parachute … or something…
The illustrator just lost their mind on this one.
I’m not sure why a piece of sushi should be used as a parachute to promote a shopping delivery service.
Maybe when you get delivery it’s like a giant piece of raw fish falling from the sky with gumdrop clouds floating and let’s not forget the giant lump of white rice all of which could never slow the descent of a person that jumped from a plane.
Remember When Beer Tasted Like … Beer??
I wonder if I can go into Dunkin Donuts and order Harpoon Ale flavored donuts??
This is a companion piece to this one about Krispy Kreme-Flavored Smart Food Popcorn
General People Mills Food
Ahh… where to go with this?
Are they saying:
We are making FOOD, PEOPLE?!! Got that?!!
OR
We are manufacturing a special food which is called “Food People”
OR
We are converting food into people
which means…
WE ARE ALL EATING EACH OTHER
The bottom line:
it means NOTHING!!!
I Wonder If I Can Get Popcorn-Flavored Krispy Kreme Donuts
In the future, everything will taste like everything.
Smart, huh?
He’s Brown With White Spots On Him
Something tells me, that’s why Mister Salty Himself is not very prominently displayed on this box.
