I bought it because of the package. I knew it wasn’t fresh fruit. I didn’t mind that it would be dried.
But how to contain my disappointment when I open and see this?
Category: food
Adult Pretzels
There really is nothing “adult” about these pretzels. In fact, I’m feeling immature making fun of this.
But I mean, c’mon! Nutzels and Rods???
Remind me to use this one when I present The Museum of Marketing Madness to high school boys.
It’s Like Easter Bunny Poops!
You can have your chocolate eggs. To me, no candy better sums up the Easter holiday spirit than a tiny breath mint in pastel colors.
Nightmare For A Chicken
No imagination here. What kinda food truck is this beyond that they have chicken? So, unable to conjure any sorta hook, they just say “Dream Chicken.” Maybe for you, but for the chicken happily spreading his wings, eyes bulging … THIS IS NO DREAM.
Must’ve Been A Disappointing Reading Of The Will
And to my wife, I bequeath this bag of quinoa seeds…
Why Would You Need Traceability?
Because you may want to find out who made the olive oil that poisoned you.
Freedom Used To Mean Something
That is…before GLUTEN came along and ruined everything….
Not Only Do We Eat Them … We Make Fun Of Them Too!
Before We Gut You Like A Fish…
…put on this chef’s toque. It’ll look great!
That’s it…hold it! Mouth open! Perfect!!
No, Actually, Your Life Is Over
I think the right-to-life movement may take issue with this. Life begins at conception…not when you try 3-cheese queso. Right?