Category: packaging

What Is Sensational To A Bird…

… is not a source of food.

You’re a bird.
You found a source of food.
Is that really sensational or just another day being a bird?

Sensational Bird Life Big Whoop

Yes I was in a wild bird food store yesterday and these past 2 entries are from that store. Ya never know where you’ll find marketing madness I tell ya!

Show Me The Suet

When I go into a bird feed store, I expect, nay DEMAND, 5 (FIVE!) different kinds of hot pepper suet.

Hotcha chah chah

Not 4, not 3 … don’t even waste my time with 1 or 2.

 

Extra Copy Means Extra Madness

Expect the stretch to stretch your belief in copywriters

That “Expect The Stretch” is what I call “Stretch copy” (yeah I just made that up)

Creative Director doesn’t like the blank space and wants something else there, even if it adds no value or make any sense whatsoever. And the poor copywriter has to come up with some word play, some double entendre … ANYthing to fill that space.

And, Children, that is how Expect The Stretch wound up on the box for the Super Stretch Spider Web Halloween Packaging. Good night! Drive safely!

Red Junior And His Bottle Gang

Found this “Pocket Pub” flask hanging on the shelf in the beverage aisle. Some funny stuff going on here:

Pocket Liquor License

I guess that ol’ hip flask model is just not cool anymore  old school how we do

Just because you fill this with 8oz of booze doesn’t mean you’re carrying around an entire PUB in your POCKET

My favorite: the lil’ gang of miscreants tucked in the upper right-hand corner.

Stock photo agency wouldn’t permit their faces to promote drunk and disorderly behavior.

The silhouettes make ’em look shady though.

 

It’s Like Somebody Dared A Marketing Guru To Make Any POS Cool

Marketing Skeptic: “I bet you can’t make toilet paper hip.”

Marketing Guru: “I can make blood soaked gauze that covers scabs cool!”

Marketing Skeptic: “I dare you!”

Marketing Guru: “Watch me!”

You want to buy it. You don't know what it is but you want to buy it because it looks cool. Admit it!

Admit it. You don’t even know what it is but you want to buy it because the graphics are cool.

Dominating the bandage department

With prices like these, you’ll be slashing your wrists just to use them!

Good copy always makes absolutely no sense.

When you’re ready to blow 10 to 13 dollars on band aids, everything is insane.

How Can They Be Mommy and Daddy Without Any Children?

SCENE:
A large conference room with COPYWRITERS 1, 2, 3 and 4 and the BOSS, an all-too-typical balding white guy in his 40s, chewing on pistachios. On the table are a whole lot of colored circular sponges with holes in them.

Mommy Is SOOO Clean!

BOSS:
We WILL NOT be just be another spongey cleaning product!? Yeah there’s a smiley face on it but, so what? This calls for a gimmick. Some kinda name, I wanna personalize it.

COPYWRITER 1:
Cleaning Lady!

BOSS:
Nahh … misogynist

COPYWRITER 2:
Buddy Wipe!!

BOSS:
What?! Sounds too much like Butt Wipe

COPYWRITER 3:
Spongy Friend??

BOSS:
Sounds like some old friend who comes by asking for money!

COPYWRITER 4 (the good copywriter)
What about something cute, like Mommy, Daddy. Scrub Mommy, Scrub Daddy…?

BOSS:
NOW YOU’RE TALKIN’!! Why can’t the rest of you be like Copywriter 4 who always nails it!?

And so, Children of Scrub Mommy and Daddy … that’s the story of how your parents came to be. Now, lights out and sweet dreams……

Look Over Here! It’s An Ad For Kah Chof Kah Fie Seh!!

Kah Chok Fee Ess
Let’s review:

  1. OKAY: Everybody’s attention is sliced into so much click bait and streaming media nobody has attention anymore and — oh look shiny objects … what was I saying? Oh yeah, advertisers go hard for eyeballs! “TV! Websites! Celebrities! What about … COFFEE SLEEVES? We can grab ’em there!”
  2. BUT: Y’know, coffee makes a horrible stain. How do you clean stains? Detergent! But how to make people buy detergent when they’re drinking coffee … and you are NOT allowed to put detergent in their coffee…hmm? How about … we put something on the coffee cup or something.
  3. AND: Detergent ads: so Old Skool Mad Men. We be cool and hip and do a logo and a website and a rhyme ya “Stain Brain” you, and a gimmick and copy and design and everybody get busy and create! We have awards to win!!
  4. GO: Make up words. Or play with words. More! MORE!! Letters!! HURRY … campaign … not much time … Coffee Sleeves to printer, run of 87 million!
  5. PLUS: Gimme some tagline for this all. How about: “Style is an option. Clean is not”
  6. stain brain drain pain
  7. WAIT: WTF?! Is style an option? Is clean not an option? Why is clean not an option? Could style not be an option? Does you brain have a stain on it trying to reason this through? Hang on … we are not done! Say this out loud with me:

KAH-CHOF-KAH-FIE-SEH!!!

HOORAY!!! Advertising Sells Everything!